Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Closing Walls, and Ticking Clocks
Well, well, and so here we are again, that familiar place, the familiar phase, at a familiar pace. At the risk of emo'ing out, I dwell once again on the course of events that unfolded this semester, as I settled in a little more, found things a little more familiar, too familiar perhaps. On the intricately boring tapestry that is my life, a little colour was weaved into the grander scheme of things this time round. I managed to hook up with racist aussie prank callers, make a few aussie friends (James, Andrew, Gabe, Blake, who actually peddles and uses drugs, Helen), get to know my care group members (David, Ramesh, Reubs, PY, Chris, Hanggo) a little better, fail to inspire Gary to come to school, get to know Edwin a little more and watch him return to the heart of things, and get to know several spice girls, namely Sarah and Lydia, and their effervescent groupie friend Suwei, haha ok joking.
Through it all, God reminds me that He is at the centre, and no matter which way the cyclone turns, how fast it blows, which part we're all caught up in the cyclone, no matter all these, He's there, and longs to bring us to the eye of the storm, where all is calm, and all is clear.
Through the eyes of Coldplay, lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try, to fix you.
Times with Gabriel, despite my tiredness, and the lessons learnt, were precious. God wants me to grow, and grow quickly, because time has flown by, and I have stood still. Relationships are precious, and we cannot let evil come in and take that away from us. Ask God into your relationship with friends and loved ones today, because without the love of Christ, there is only so far we can go on our own. We run aground, we run dry, and we thirst again, wondering why.
Twenty-one kilometres beckons.
paN!cker lost it at 12:56 am
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Release from Binding Site Part II
Things came to a standstill today. My exams ended. Thank you God for everything everything. I had 3 8am papers and I made it to all of them in good time! Thanks to Edwin who gave me lifts practically everywhere, lifts as in, not vertical moving machines but .. like a ride to uni. As always study week's been sweet and even though I am thoroughly unhappy with my discipline this semester, I squeezed through and the cycle continues.
I think the past two weeks held more memories than the whole semester, the racist encounter notwithstanding. Love life!!! Live it to the max, and don't regret. It's about the people.
Yawn, I'm so sleepy.
paN!cker lost it at 12:18 pm
Monday, November 12, 2007
Who's to Say?
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
- Matthew 7:1-5
paN!cker lost it at 9:14 am
Lesson of the Day
Hmmm, and so, just a day before my psych paper, what lessons have I been learning? Nope, not Freudian's bizarre and sexy theories (though yes I have looked through that), not attachment theory (mMm yes I've gone through that too), but the lesson of a seed planted. That is the bizarrest of all. In all his years of Christopher'hood, he has never had the chance to get out of his own shell dominated by "pwnage in the highest degree" through various avenues like Counterstrike, Utopia, soccer, and yes, back to Counterstrike.
BUT, today, I learnt a lesson. God is awesome, like the bomb. Even though I'm half-awake and thinking what the heck I'm doing awake at this blehh hour, I thank God for His opportunities and lessons.
I learnt today that a seed planted cannot be retracted. If you water it, it will grow. If you nurture it, it will grow. Nothing you can do can ungrow that seed. If you leave it long enough, it will be a young plant, withered there at the spot where you planted the seed. It will leave its mark, and it will be a while before the signs of death disappear. Not all seeds planted are beneficial, though many are. Some undesirable things don't just wither, die, and rot away. Some of them leave scars. I was granted that insight today, and it is perhaps one of the few lessons I have been blessed with that I didn't have to go through myself to learn. Let us heed God's promptings on our lives today, and live in reverence of who He is and all He stands for. I feel extremely humbled by this experience and right now, humbled as I am, I can only pray for strength, indeed, miraculous strength, to carry me through the day ahead as I prep for PSYCH1030 at 8am tomorrow. Time is of the essence, and dear Lord, Your mighty hand continue to cover us all. Take away the inadequacy I feel, the worldly cravings, and teach me what it means to live by Your Word and to learn to top up only in You oh God.
Amen.
paN!cker lost it at 2:38 am
Friday, November 09, 2007
Bravely Retreating
6 days and 2 papers stand between me and eternity. Well ok, not really, but it feels that way. The ocean rolls us away, and I'm typing rubbish at 2.20 in the morning. Make or break time, and indeed, God has been gracious in generous amounts as I've been seen through the first 3 tests. No time for sleep, no time for slumber, all that rust must be rid of double quick time. Sometimes, it is better to retreat to move forward. I gotta find that balance, or risk losing in this game of risk. Thank you Lord. You cover me with Your hand at all times.
paN!cker lost it at 11:23 pm
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Shed a Tear
If I shed a tear for every time I failed myself, I'd prolly drown. It escapes me how I manage to do this week in week out, month in, month out, year in, year out (o wait, maybe that's how). Carry me away, someplace nice, where the innocence of childhood was the most worrying thing on our young minds. Reminded again that growing up is a choice. With maturity comes responsibility. Do I shun it or embrace it. Utopia is a cruel world. He gives and takes away. Slain by the sword.
Anyway, study week has been a blast (not from the past though), and perhaps prior to study week even, no thanks (or thanks .. actually) to some culprits like D, Edwin (and FRIENDS .. like Nart, and -others- ehemmmmm), one MadKow, and a Lydia (to a much lesser extent since she is an elusive creature; you can tell by a distinct lack of a nickname). There was also Peiyin who tag-teamed with Marcus to feed many hungry mouths one cold, clammy, stormy night (minus the cold, clammy, stormy). Thanks guys truly. I really got to meet some really interesting people since pirates' night (and all the seasickness), and got to know some people I already knew better, like ...... David. I was deeply humbled and jaw-dropped to learn that he usually revises thrice for his exams, which explains why his 1st and 2nd years were laden with 7s. O, did I mention the guilt that came with the jaw-dropping? No? No I didn't? Well ok then I shan't mention it, because it makes things a whole lot worse. I need a breather. I need a nap. Good ol' alarm clock, no msn nudging, no ceaseless missed calls. It's been too long since I've flexed my God-given potential muscle. Potentially catastrophic?
paN!cker lost it at 1:03 am
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Interesting
The past few days have been. Swooning, my head is. I wonder hmmm.....
Anyway, having finals now. It'll be over soon. But not that soon. I need. God, I so need.
paN!cker lost it at 1:31 am
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Make Believe
paN!cker lost it at 2:56 pm
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