Monday, April 30, 2007
a muse
for the life of me i can never remember genres. what are genres anyway? everything's so fused it leaves many who muse confused. when people ask me what music i listen to, i get tongue-tied. i have no idea. i just listen to wot i find nice (which i trust is what most people do anyway). so maybe i'll just plant little morsels of information here to teach myself about music over time (MoT). *casts MoT on self*
muse, according to wiki, is an english alternative rock band. there, that wasn't too hard was it. however, alternative rock is far out vague. their music is a whole blend of alternative, indie, classical, electronica, heavy metal, and progressive rock. -end transmission-
the night sky is always awesome in a country that has practically no clouds, which makes it kinda chilly at night. i spotted orion's belt and it's accompanying southern cross again tonight, after several nights of searching in vain. oh wait, so that means the cloud cover aint that bad... hmm. in other interesting but useless and totally uncalled for news, i have acquired a POPULAR bookshop plastic bag, ..... yes! this specimen hails straight from singapore, and though highly crumpled, escalates in value daily. all thanks to joel for getting me stuff from singapore!!
i have this splitting pain on the forehead just above the right eye, i must be too tired. it's been comin on and off. can't remember when's the last time i had this. is it a problematic vein? the pain pulses with my heartbeat. when i tap my forehead like i'm psychic and start looking like i'm reading my own mind (uhhhhh yea ok :o]), the pain is really sharp. *shrug*
and yet deadlines wait for no tired persons and the clockwork chugs steadily on, leaving lesser beings floundering in the dust.
kaerbears of the night, assemble!
paN!cker lost it at 7:38 pm
Saturday, April 28, 2007
mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most hardworkin of em all?
ahh i took my microbio/biochem exam today. have no idea how i'll fare. i wasn't entirely sure about like ... 5/16 MCQs gahhh.. haha, the short answers mmm ohh i don't know, just smoked my way through some parts hope it works! man it was intensive memorising and everytime i tell myself it ain't happening AGAIN, ........ it happens again. last minute is le shite. don't ever go down that path. it's a sure pass but i don't quite know the grade. sigh everyday you just learn your hard lessons.. if this first half was tough the second half is one helluva journey. you gotta give it up for boring lecturers; i have no idea what he's saying on metabolism.
annnyway, i'm glad! the light that blew, has failed to keep me in the dark! i bought a new lightbulb from chai's (the expired goods store *chuckle*) and with much fear and trepidation slotted it home (just like a goal) and flicked the switch. and it worked! hurray. i feel quite proud cos like when it blew, i had no idea if it was one of those lightbulbs with grooves or one of those u just push in, turn and pull out. so basically what happened was i practically ripped out the thang from the socket, wires and all. that sucked royally. i realised i had er no more like naked wire contact in the metal socket thing. that meant one thing. i had to act pro like an electrician would (because they are) and pull off a bit of what looked like ....... masking tape ?!?! from the tape-wire complex (LOL) just to get the exposed wire out again before slotting it into the metal thingy and screwing the screw to hold the bare wires in place. ever since my scissors got confiscated at the airport (sighhhhh) the days have been gloomy. so i used the pen knife and started scraping off the tape. i was actually surprised it worked after some huffing and puffing staring upwards balancing on a laopok swivel chair. so i somehow managed to get everything back in order, except for the fact that now the whole wire comin out of the ceiling is shorter so i can't put the bulb through the first ring holder. butttt wala, the light actually works. i'm so happy. i should work as an electrician for 30 bucks an hour!
annnyway better get going, it's seldom you finish an exam and still feel the doom and gloom because ass-ignment is due wednesday. *grumbles* i'm actually meeting my partner at 9 tomorrow at the library, can you believe that? well, believ....oh wait, i already did that believe thingy in my previous posts. pay no attention.
cheery sunday to one and all.
paN!cker lost it at 4:34 pm
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
salut !
i salute you gabriel heinze, forced to make do at centreback and without the pace to match kaka, you gave it your all and you make me proud. evra, go eat an ant.
i just love how it turned out, in spite of the fact milan probably deserved to draw the game, but rooney was simply red hot brilliant shiznaz. his piledriver in stoppage time took away many litres of drawn breath simultaneously. that was so hot man, giggs laid it on, and without a touch he just slammed it home past the desperate flailing arms of the terribly positioned di, didadi, didadi, didadidadidadi. he's just so tenacious this guy, it's about time his moments of brilliance return to haunt and taunt and harass opposing defences. i feel ronaldo was almost effective; in his eagerness to make the difference (and with the treble of awards under his belt), he thought he could go on to totally pwn the milan defense himself, especially in the first half. he showed glimpses of his old self, taking the ball all the way and not releasing when other players were already positioned. quite a few times he would have done more damage if he'd released the ball instead of losing it at the end. nevertheless, the way the milan defence backed off him and allowed him to run at them leaves a few raised eyebrows. he succeeded in drawing multiple players towards him and allowing the other players more space though, that much i'll give him.
overall, it was a very gutsy performance from the injury-hit english underdogs, and though kaka's second through his humiliation of the makeshift defence was so laughable i could cry, united managed to outscore their opponents. when kaka scored his first and the equaliser, heinze's shake of the head said it all. he was not in a position to match kaka's prowess. apart from that, i'd say heinze had a good game, i could tell he gave his all. carrick was non existent, fletcher was exciting, and scholes, my oh my, this guy is such a brilliant controller of the ball you can hardly dispossess him. so many times be it in defence or up front, scholes came up with the right moves to get out of impossibly tight situations. and that audacious flick which allowed rooney in on the equaliser was mesmerising.
and with this, manchester united marches into milan with a slender 3-2 advantage, needing only a draw to guarantee an all-english final. of course they won't be going for that; it'd be ridiculous to sit back and let milan run at you, but rooney has hit top form at a time when it matters most, and let's hope he keeps that form for the return leg. especially when your defence is ravaged like that, it's all the more important for united to be focusing on utilising their strengths, which is in going forward as well as counter-attacking, to steal a goal or two and seal sweet revenge over one of europe's most experienced teams.
anyway, i've been working on the lab write-up assignment with me partner, and it's amazing how difficult it is to find articles on what you want! i've got maybe 1-2 good articles, and the rest are yet to be found. what's really so hard about finding an article that proves VO2max values are generally higher in males than females!? ludicrous! ok no point ranting, arghhhhhhh. looking to You, only You.
paN!cker lost it at 2:10 pm
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
unbelievable? believe it
no way. my ceiling light just gave up on me! wot is this! a mutiny? man, .................. ok i'm speechless. you win, ceiling light. i lose. now my room has only this one standing light and there's this romantico, cosy, let's-not-do-work-and-go-sleep feeling. wot is this! i'm staring holes into the ceiling light, in the faint hope that my telelectrical (is there even such a thing) powers will finally come to light. heh ok that was corny. but, unbelievable? believe it.
paN!cker lost it at 11:50 pm
say no when you really mean yes
and all it'll get you into is a real big mess. wot a way to start a post. sometimes you just have no idea wot title to put up and so when inspiration hits, you don't turn it away.
*prays man u wins against all odds*
we're all supporting man u now aren't we now hey...?!?!! yes even you, liverpool fan in the corner, and over there closet chelsea supporter, we want the english underdogs (for once this season) to win despite not having their first choice backline. sighhh even if you don't, i do, and that's all that matters. people have told me, hey look man u's 1-0 down. i say, full-time baby, look to full-time. they win 4-1. aww look at roma beating man u 2-1. i say full-time man, you gotta check back at full-time. 8-3 aggregate. somehow i didn't really put a lot of thinking into saying those things. i just .... knew, that man u are more than that. if they wanted to do it, they would, and they did. and so i hope they finish milan off tonight, in clinical fashion.
i was reminded today (YES today since it's past the witching hour here but in bloggertime it's not) of some things i resolved to do here, like msn less till i finish work, make more aussie friends, ace the tests, study like i really meant it (hmm i do mean it), and in my Peer Assisted Study Session (PASS) tutor's words, Go Team! i really need to stick to it and not be such an utter fruitcake! if not collagen and all its procollagen peptidase and n and c terminals and proline and lysine hydroxylase will be making gelatin out of me. and that's not the picture i have in mind about how this semester is gonna end. let's not end it that way shall we?
i've got a pooey teammate for assignment. he works tues and fris, plays footy for an external club, and basically knows jack about our assignment. God, if ever i needed help, it's now. at the very least he's acknowledging he's lost it all since the easter break. i distinctly dislike stats. God help me with that. how i'm gonna figure that out and produce funny graphs that provide penetrative insight into the assignment i don't really know. i'll need to score a perfect assignment to get the plan back on track since i've only 6% to play with for the remaining 65. but firstly, the dying to self part. you can't let collagen pwn j00. j00 g0tt4 pwN c0||4g3n! last time nong nong ago, my mum always reminds me now and then, i used to tell her, mummy, what's so hard? it's all in your mind. HAHAHA it's come full circle. it's all in your mind. if you wanna do it, do it. work smarterbetterquickerfaster. it's all in the mind.
i've several nice pictures of duffy working on the laptop and stuff, but, ahh won't post it up. the camera's two metres too far from me.
paN!cker lost it at 10:46 pm
Sunday, April 22, 2007
succint deception and a birthday
carried out to perfection, leaving the victim clueless, and totally sold.
i was having lunch, intending to drop the people back home a surprise call, and as the clock struck one, which meant it was 11am, right after heartbeat service, i punched the numbers, the many, many numbers, and tried to make contact with weiliang. but weiliang apparently not wishing to talk to caller-on-random-number, refused to pick up. so be it! who should i call hmmm, so i finally decided on josh, my cousin. as i dialed the numbers, an idea began to form.
josh: "hello."
me: "eh help me buy waffle leh."
josh: "huh, who are you?" *looks around church premises*
me: "aiya just help me buy la."
josh: *incoherent gasps of shock, and perhaps, just maybe, dismay* "oh my oh my goodness, it's oh my..... (in the background) it's chris!!!"
aww man, priceless. it was just heartwarming to hear so many familiar voices today, just like old times. it felt like they (you guys) were right beside me. let's see, josh, bryner, amaria, abi, amanda, isabel, shin yee, june, huiyi, dan, fabien, weiliang, wei chin, even sue-ann in the background haha. for A$0.008 a minute, well worth the money. what with the routine of uni life, and the distinct lack of aussie friends, it was really really nice to be, even if for a moment, back with the people in church i practically grew up with. it sounded like things are pretty much as they always have been, awesome, and i was plenty glad for that.
i realise it can get quite lonely in uni life overseas, because of the 99% likelihood that you won't see familiar faces (and i'm not tawkin bout the new friends you make overseas duh!) back from say, your neighbourhood or primary or secondary school or wherever. the kids here in school have their lil cliques of friends from wherever they came from, and being aussie, they click pretty fast anyway. EVEN THEN, for a lot of aussies here (especially those who came from the suburbs), uni can get lonely for them too if they had few friends come over from high school. so this mindnumbing routine of lectures/labs/meals/home/work really tends to wear you down. will there come a day when i hang wit da aussie kids? sitting at my desk here pondering, logic tells me no. but you never know wot God has in store for you hey. just gotta focus focus focus on what i want to get out of this semester and let that dictate my actions. sounds so easy peasy 123. pffffpfft. anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!!!!!!!!
since i can't be there in person, here's my virtual shoutout to you over the net! heh, sorry the card(s) is/are late, still working on defeating the mighty procrastination monstah. you da best mum in the world, just as everyone elses mum is the best mum in the world to them, you are to me. seeing as how nobody's really perfect, i think therefore you totally own. thanks for spoiling me even though i'm sure you try not to, but inevitably do in your own ways, and for just showering me with da love all these x number of years. ... hmm wait a minute why do i have to use x! i'm still young. growing older is a priviledge. bah, lookin forward to comin back and frying CNY cake with you and helping you help singapore rid itself of unhealthy zhu rou gan and uhmm, i don't know reuniting the bears and checking percie and his new skinny black friend out. just as friends have mentioned you're hip and cool and really modern and different and you use msn so you definitely rock. thanks for being my mum (i know i know none of us chose none of us but hey it worked out) and i pray only the bestest year ahead for you! i know we always have our idiotic moments but that only goes to show that we're close. OHH and thanks for instilling in me a spirit of CLEANLINESS ehemm ehemm hinthint clueclue housemates! hahaha.
paN!cker lost it at 8:09 pm
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
just, thankful
i just wanna say i'm so so thankful to God for the way i've been brought through up till now, in all areas, in spite of my less-than-satisfactory approach to studies. i haven't been burnt yet, and somehow the results (from how i feel the exams went) seem to be still on target. yet the toughest segment is ahead, with the heavy duty assignments looming, and of course the final exam the weightiest of them all.
where i've been faithless and plain idiotic, God has still been faithful and carried me through, and i gotta add more oil now and finish the job. i've been prayin sporadically for an increasing passion for my studies (it's not easy getting all warm and fuzzy over biochemistry, not easy at all), and it's gotta be now! i love biochemistry because!! .... erm ..... yea i just do daymit. :( the information overload is tremendous; i feel my brain has taken a smushing over these past few months, and there's just stuff .. like a concept where i can sit in front of a computer wikipedia'ing for an hour just to understand it, like the almighty G-protein coupled receptor second messaging system. that's just ONE key concept from ONE lecture, and there's a whole lot of lectures with a whole lot of KEY concepts (if they're ALL key then ... you can't really say one is a key concept compared to another can you?) to either rote learn (face it, it's just like that) or try to understand (ohhh so like that la).
and ... horror of horrors! why is the brain so complicated! (why are YOU complaining moron! it's been working its ass [not that it has one] off for you) imagine learning about how the thing that's helping you learn about itself, learns. rrrrrright haha, before i get virtually stoned, i leave you with this apt tune. remember, choose life.
January 1, I've got a lot of things on my mind
I'm looking at my body through a new spy satellite
Try to lift a finger, but I don't think I can make the call
So tell me if I move, 'cause I don't feel anything at all
So Carry Me,
I'm just a dead man
Lying on the carpet
Can't find a heartbeat
Make me breathe,
I want to be a new man
Tired of the old one
Out with the old plan
I woke up from a dream about an empty funeral
But is was better than the party full of people I don't really know
They've got hearts to break and burn
Dirty hands to feel the earth
There's something in my veins,
But I can't seem to make it work... won't work
So Carry Me,
I'm just a dead man
Lying on the carpet
Can't find a heartbeat
Make me breathe,
I want to be a new man
Tired of the old one
Out with the old plan
Can you find a beat inside of me?
Any pulse?
Getting worse?
Any pulse?
Getting worse?
Inside of me, can you find a beat?
Carry Me,
I'm just a dead man
Lying on the carpet
Can't find a heartbeat
Make me breathe,
I want to be a new man
Tired of the old one
Out with the old plan
jars of clay - dead man (carry me)
paN!cker lost it at 10:40 pm
self-taught drummerboy
it never came together before this, for the lofty ambitions of the owner had difficulty coming to terms with horrific motor control. but in simplifying matters, it started to come together this morning. just as you don't start with the Aadd9 chord or something, similarly, you don't attempt fancy pansy stuff with drums. keep it simple. win the game.
i bring warm greetings from cold library.
paN!cker lost it at 2:44 pm
Sunday, April 15, 2007
from within our cages
we struggle with whirring vigour to break free
paN!cker lost it at 12:17 am
Saturday, April 14, 2007
abuzz
i'm about to witness jamming session number one at our laopok house. unfortunately, i have a mid-term to prepare for and i won't be participating in the jam session! study away! then soccer and the thrashing of eh hemm .... ok nuff said. be patient all ye peasants, updates will come when i busy myself no longer.
paN!cker lost it at 2:18 pm
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
caught you catching you
finding that stillness amidst the chaos. i'm home.
paN!cker lost it at 11:47 pm
Thursday, April 05, 2007
oceania convention 2007
tomorrow's the day! leaving the house at 5am for a flight down to melbourne and phillip island. it's a massive gathering of the hope churches in australia, and several prophets will be there during the course of the convention. let's see what God has placed on their hearts for the people. this kinda ties in to www.the-end.com. apparently, 2008 is the year that things start falling apart, aka, the end times. let's see if they have anything to say about 2008. anyway must admit haven't set aside time to truly seek God and get prepared for the convention, but I hope it'll be a good time of being refreshed and getting an idea of the bigger scheme of things and how i fit in. 4 years seems like a really long time in australia, by which time i'll be 26. that's ...... a really long time, and that makes me really old. but of course i'll always be young at heart so when i hit a quarter of a century that would signal me to enter the young-at-heart denial phase.
that's assuming prophet sent by God is wrong about his end of the world story and there's still life to be lived beyond 2008.
we'll see won't we. such scary times we live in. anyway the idea of travelling down to melbourne is itself already appealing. meanwhile, my housemates are trying to play C&C Generals on LAN... rather unsuccessfully. but they're really determined so, all the best to them. play play play, whole day only know how to play... cheh cheh cheh. haha, while they have fun i'm desperately looking for journal articles on infection control to send to my friendly tutor to vet, so that i can work on the assignment when i'm back.
the only other thing i really needed today was full cream. it would have been perfect. see you guys on tuesday. paN!cker, over and out. =P
paN!cker lost it at 8:10 pm
Monday, April 02, 2007
of thrills and spills
it was a really exciting match, definitely very scrappy, especially towards the end when weak legs complained of heavy bodies and gaps opened up. J1-4 didn't have enough players to start the game at first, so me and a couple others played for them the first 10 minutes or so. in that very seksi time frame, they went 1-0 up. after feeling good that we had inadvertently contributed to our team going one down, their peeps arrived and setup the goal nets before joining the game, conveniently allowing us to return to J5-8. of course, since making the move from J2 to J8, i'm the traitor(hurray!), but as i read somewhere, the mark of a true professional is one who responds to overwhelming criticism with outstanding performance! i didn't exactly play oustandingly though; i thought i had a decent game up till the part when i gifted the ball to alvin to gratefully store in our net, their final winning goal.
we were edged out 5-4.
J5-8 had a really decent first half, with me and toby in defense and the midfield doing a good job of creating chances. i was somewhere at right-back, and it helped me to deal with the threat from ivan on their left flank and various assorted people who tried to start something there. the first half ended 2-2 sadly, i THINK after we had taken the lead at that. still, not too bad. then as humans always do, we tried to tinker and improve and make "tactical" changes which on paper look like they will work but in essence destroyed everything! so we moved our good players upfield, leaving those technically less gifted ones in defence. i was supposed to partner chris(yes, chris) in midfield, and we supposed to totally own. even toby moved up to left mid or something. so brimming with confidence, we started the game, they counterattacked, and scored, all within i dare say a minute or two of the restart. awesome! so i moved back to defence, but as centre back this time. however, it was just me, as toby stayed up still. as the match progressed, it seemed like we had our whole team in midfield and nobody in defence! in spite of all that, our positional lack lead to not much penetration for all the bodies up. of course, we managed to create a few chances still, but some players who were in space and should have shot decided to lay it off to the side. i continued to sit back and try and deal with the threats that came, and it was all good, UNTIL that fateful moment when we were down 3-4 and shawn cleared a goal attempt which got to me, and i decided to let the ball bounce instead of clearing it, with the intention of bringing the ball away from the penalty area. no awareness la dei, alvin was there to help dispose me of the ball and tuck it beyond reach. kelvin mok sub'ed into their team late in the game, and he was surprised to see me playing for the "wrong" team haha. his movement is really good, but touches are rusty haha. too used to playing at wembley, can't adapt to small fields like that one =P
meanwhile, we were left to rue the missed chances, and wonder why the heck we changed positions when it was going well. i was looking to play in midfield though, but circumstances didn't allow it. it was the hardest i ever played in a long time, and for the first half my left achilles was hurting. sometimes that happens and i don't know why, maybe cos of the uneven field. other than that, all was fine, until the last half hour when my right calf kept trying to cramp up. we played a full two hours straight. it was fun though, and both sides are looking to improve, re-group, and come back fitterfasterbetterstronger.
anyway there were some really comical goals; ivan as usual almost scored one of his trademark high lobs that failed to catch our han off guard, then lemuel managed to score through a similar lob when poor henry(who has keeping at the time) had the sun in his eyes, rose to catch the ball, only to turn it into his net hahahaa. we managed to score through a brilliant reuben "cross" that somehow became a shot and ended in their net though their keeper managed to get his hands to it. is that what amateur teams are reduced to? scoring through tyco moments!?!? our first equalizer came when their own defender steamed into their keeper, bundling over him, allowing alex to do a simple tap in. i was left scratching my head at the friendly fire that was going on.
GG. ;)
paN!cker lost it at 7:47 pm
Sunday, April 01, 2007
the anthem of good monsters
all the good monsters open their eyes,
to see the wasteland where the home fires rise,
and the people shouting why, why, why...
do you know what you are?
do you know what you are?
all of the giants wake from their sleep,
and roll outside of safety's keep,
and the pain makes them feel so alive
do you know what you are?
do you know what you are?
and we are bored of all the things we know
do you know what you are?
do you know what you are?
not all monsters are bad, but the ones who are good
never do what they could, never do what they could
all the good monsters rattle their chains,
and dance around the open flames,
and they make a lot of empty noise.
while all of the bright eyes turn away,
as if there wasn't anything to say,
about the justice and the mystery.
do you know what you are?
do you know what you are?
and we are bored of all the things we know
and we are forms of everything we love, we love.
if good won't show it's ugly face,
evil won't you take your place
nothing ever changes,
nothing ever changes...
by itself.
we are bored of all the things we know
do you know what you are
'cause we are, we are so in love with ourselves
and we are forms of all the things we love.
jars of clay - good monsters
paN!cker lost it at 9:58 am
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